Signs of Extramarital Affairs

No one should go through the pain of their spouse having extramarital affairs. Regrettably, they do happen. Are you suspecting that your spouse/partner is having an extramarital affair? Keep your eyes and ears open to these signs. Remember it is best to find out early before these affairs spin the marriage out of control.

Disconnect

Has your spouse been avoiding you lately? Do you feel that there is a decrease of sexual interest in you? Has the marriage become almost too routine? Have those lately night heart to heart talks come to an end? This emotional and physical disconnect could be a sign that your spouse is feeling guilty about having an affair. He could be distancing himself from you to relieve the guilt. When you ask what is wrong, your spouse might get defensive. In a healthy marriage, a spouse is usually willing to talk things over. However, if your spouse is having an affair, he might refuse to talk about the problems even though it might be clear that something is troubling him. Sometimes your spouse might try to avoid you entirely. Obviously, be on the lookout for new and unusual work hours. Is your spouse coming back late from work? Are there slightly more meetings than usual? Are there suddenly travel related work trips?

Money Trail

Are their unexplained expenses on the credit cards? Remember how much your spouse has spent on you. If he or she has a new lover, the money meant for you is going toward someone else. Check the cell phone bill. Are there added charges? In addition, most cell phone bills keep a call log. Check for suspicious and new numbers. Check the joint bank account. See if there are any interesting withdrawals?

Appearance

Look for changes in physical appearance. Has your spouse brought newer clothes? For women, has she started wearing more makeup? For men, has he starting wear cologne? Are there suddenly visits to the gym without warning? Figure out the reason for this change. Is your spouse trying to impress you? Or is he/she trying to impress someone else?

New smells. You nose becomes accustomed to smells that are encountered on a regular basis. (This is why it is really hard for most people to notice their own body odor.) If you're spouse is seeing a new lover, he or she might pick up new smells. Because these smells are new to your nose, you should immediately notice something might be wrong. Also keep in mind that your spouse can be adding new smells to hide other smells. A cheating husband can spray himself with cologne before entering the house toe cover up the smell of anther woman.

Technology

Has your spouse begun deleting the history on his computer? When you look at his phone, do you realize that call and text message logs are suddenly not being saved? Or maybe your spouse has been on the computer a lot more. Does he/she stay on the computer after you go to bed? If so, your spouse might be using the time to communicate with his lover. Is there a sudden appreance of a web cam? Your spouse can be using it to communicate with his new lover.

Emotional Affair Signs

What is an emotional affair? You might have heard the term being used more and more recently. What makes it different from an affair in general? An emotional affair is an affair that excludes sexual intimacy. That means that there is usually no sexual contact in an emotional affair. Hugs and kisses might occur. However, if it goes beyond that, the affair is considered a full fledged affair.

So what is involved in an emotional affair? The answer is emotional intimacy. Someone guilty of an emotional affair is usually guilty of not confiding to his/her chosen partner. The unfaithful partner may be sharing intimate and personal feelings with a new "friend" rather than his or her spouse.

How do you know if your spouse is committing an emotional affair? Here are some emotional affair signs:

Changed Behavior Signs

Your spouse is spending a lot of time outside the house. Your spouse might not think he is physically cheating on you because there is no sexual contact. However, this is wrong. A marriage is a pact where two people agree to be intimate with each other. This includes sexual intimacy AND emotional intimacy. If a spouse is being emotionally intimate with someone else other than his partner, this is cheating.

Therefore if you have noticed that your spouse has recently stopped talking to you about matters of importance, this might be a sign of an emotional affair. Does your spouse seem troubled, but is unwilling to talk? Or maybe you used to have late night heart to hearts ever so often. Has it stopped? There must be a reason why. Your spouse is unwilling to talk to you about their intimate problems because they now think their new "friend" will understand them better. After all, the unfaithful partner has been telling the new "friend" everything: intimate problems and deep secrets.

Changed Conversations

Has your spouse stopped telling you what happened during their day, those dinner time conversations where you both summarize the days' happenings at work, school or at home? Remember when you always wanted to tell your spouse something interesting or funny that happened during the day? Has that stopped? Usually, you tend to tell these stories to those who you are closest to. So if your spouse has stopped telling you these stories, he/she might have a new close friend.

New "Coworkers"

Has your spouse recently met a new "coworker?" Usually your spouse will not stop talking about how great this new coworker is and how much work is better with this coworker. After a period, your spouse might stop talking about this coworker. Does this make sense? Think about it. Normally, you include your friends in your stories. Or unless, you have something to hide. Your unfaithful spouse might be guilty that he has grown close to the new "friend." Therefore he will stop talking about the friend to reduce his own guilt.

Electronic Signs

Is your spouse constantly on the phone with a coworker? Or maybe on the computer all the time doing "work?" Though it looks like your spouse is just sending random emails to his colleagues at work, he might actually be communicating with his new emotional partner. Since this is not really cheating, your spouse might be okay with doing it in your plain sight. Has the cell phone bill gone up recently? Maybe your spouse has been sending more and more texts to his new emotional partner. Are call logs or email logs clean? Your spouse might be trying to hide something.

Financial and Physical

Be on the lookout for financial signs. Check credit card statements, bank statements, bills, etc. Your unfaithful spouse might be buying gifts for their new "friend." Though these gifts might seem innocent at first, your unfaithful spouse might not realize that these gifts could lead to something more. There actually might not be any suspicious gifts purchases on the statements. However, you might notice that personal purchases have risen. Your unfaithful spouse might be buying goods for himself to spice up his own personal appearance. He doesn't even have to be conscious of the fact he is doing it. A spouse involved in an emotional affair tends to have the other person in the affair in mind almost all the time. This could lead the spouse to do things he would not normally do, just to please the new "friend."